2,000 Light Years Away

On with the vast chronicles of my life...but first. I have to say that I often like about every professional sports team, but with as much basketball, baseball, football, and soccer that I watch (a f'n lot) I do hate certain players/teams. As in Derek Fisher of the Lakers ( i love the Lakers team though), Nick Swisher (former Chicago White Sox), and the entire San Antonio Spurs roster (especially Bruce Bowen, whom I would punch in the face if I ever walked by him on the street). I just wanted to put this out there.

Okay so once high school was rollin along with the entire crew there it was quite fun. The whole group had French class together (some how??) and interesting enough, Mr Llama (the teacher) had to take like a years leave, so Steve Hildinger's mom was our permanent sub. She is the absolute coolest teacher you will ever meet. Ironically, she was on a bowling league with me for about 3 years well after high school where she totally proved over and over how cool she was (her husband was on my team and she was on the ladies). As we were all in French class we figured out that Jessica was the smart one, Gabe had no clue, Micheal (michelle) and myself were about normal, and Shawn just missed it a bunch. Imagine a homegrown Missourian with a lisp speaking french...seriously.

I somehow ended up dating a girl named Tara (not the one you're thinkin about) for awhile that year, whom was a friend of Jessica's. The thing was that since only Shawn had a car or even a driver license, we never got to see each other except for at school, or maybe somewhere with everyone together on weekends. Tara was a cool girl; the problem was that I was basically forced into a relationship with her by Jessica. She introduced us, she "got us together", and once I had to talk to her by myself on the phone each night or whatever...I had nothing to talk about. We had nothing in common at all. Then of course, in the hall at lunch one day, after 2 months of dating, Tara asks Jessica to ask me why I haven't kissed her yet. WHAT??!?!? Yeah, so Jessica pulls me aside and tells me to go kiss Tara. Now I did not do that. I didn't want to because I didn't feel that way to her and I really wanted to date Jessica anyway. So, why would I kiss Tara in front of Jessica? Who knows. I didn't do it, and I know it got Jessica mad for awhile because they were good friends, and I rejected her good friend. So be it. I had my eyes on the prize, someday...

side note: maybe I should've kissed her because her next boyfriend used to get laid by her all the time in the tubes at McDonald's playland on Center Ave. (seriously) Then she showed up at my apartment one day like 6 years later, to hang out with Bill of all people, and ends up screwing him for like 2 weeks. What the hell did I miss out on??

Well, after that episode and year...the summer was quite fun. Shawn had his grandma's vans for our transportation and other than that we walked everywhere. It was pretty much a 3 month hang out to wherever we wanted to go. Typically Gabe's house, Micheal's house, or Jessica and James' basement. Gabe's house was the best becasue his parents couldn't care less about what we did. Not saying we sat around smoking crack or anything, but it was the feeling that you could do anything there and not get yelled at. Also, his parents were gone all hours either at work or at different motorcycle rallies. The only adult around was his semi-mentalally handicapped aunt, who was nocturnal I believe. She would be sleeping every minute until it was dark, then wake up and be that way until the sun rose. Maybe she was like a crazy vampire or something, who knows. Anywho, one awesome benefit of Gabe's house was the satellite dish. The satellite was just left around from the previous owners, and they didn't ever use it because it didn't work for normal channels. BUT we found out one day that if we switched a box behind the entertainment center, it fired it up...only to show us 4 channels of international PORN. hahaha Every 14-16 year old boys dream!! Now, being a bootleg satelite in the first place, their was no sound, but who cares...it's porn! Gabe obviously was home for awhile everyday before we came over, and everytime we got there he was always in that room,. He says just "watching normal tv", but he can deny it until 2056, we know why he were always in there before we came over. hahaha ( I woulda been too)

That particular summer was also the summer of "Friday", the movie with Ice Cube and Chris Tucker. Nigga Shawn and I probably watched that goddamn movie 90 times that summer, and to this day I still can recite the movie line for line on demand (nice wasted brain space). It also became the summer that Jenny Rowell and I became good friends, Micheal and I became a couple (yeah yeah), Randy and Jessica became a couple (yeah yeah, squared), Higgin's earned his "redwings" in the woods by the river, and James' basement pool games became the times I will never forget. All of this tomorrow!!! I gotta go drink.

Music: Oasis

P.S. I promised Rob Ollette. So this donkey had this like '86 Pontiac Sunbird or somethin, and 4 days into the school year he asks if we all want a ride to Gabe's after school. We all obviously said no, we'd ride the bus...and thank god we did. As we are turning onto the bridge, it is open, therefore we are stopped. Well, it closes and 10 minutes later we finally start moving. We notice a traffic jam in the right lane. So we all start hanging our heads out the window (smart, huh?) and notice that dipshit Rob didn't realize that another school bus had stopped for the bridge opening and decided to drive into and underneath the school bus. How stupid do you have to be? This is long before cell phones and other driving distractions, and it's a fucking school bus. Giant, yellow, flashing lights, smells like shit exhaust. How do you miss it, and then drive underneath the damn thing. This just shows you Rob Ollette. C ya tomorrow!